Were better off without your advice, snapped the daughter before storming out to her friends house.
Mum, wheres my blue jumper? The one with the high neck? shouted Emily, rattling hangers in the hallway.
Helen Wilson put down her book about managing diabetes through diet and rose from the sofa.
Its in the wash, love. Why do you need it? Its ten degrees outside.
Im going to Lucysher house is freezing. Mum, wheres the grey cardigan then?
Which grey one? You said just yesterday it was boring. Helen walked to the wardrobe and rummaged through the clothes. Here, take the pink one insteadit really suits you.
Emily peeked out from the hallway and wrinkled her nose.
Im going to a friends, not on a date. Pinks too dressy.
Looking nice never hurts, her mother smiled. Remember what I used to tell you? First impressions count, but its your mind that keeps them around. Both matter.
Emily rolled her eyes and pulled on the first sweater she found.
Em, are you really just going to Lucys? Maybe stay home instead? Her parents are awayitll just be you two. You know, at your age Helen hesitated, searching for the right words.
Mum, Im seventeen. What, do you think were going to do drugs or something? Emily huffed, fastening her coat.
No, of course not, but What if someone else turns up? Boys, maybe? Emily, you know how things are these days. Why not invite Lucy here? Ive made soup, and there are fresh scones.
Emily froze, then slowly turned.
Mum, stop it! Stop controlling me! Im old enough to decide where I go!
But darling, Im not controlling youIm just worried! Youre my only childif anything happened
Nothings going to happen! God, why cant you just trust me? Emily yanked her zip up angrily. Im going to my friends to study history, notI dont know what youre imagining!
Im not imagining anything, Helen said, hurt. Its justin my day, girls behaved differently. They talked things through with their parents.
Exactlyin your day! Things are different now, Mum!
Helen sighed, leaning against the doorframe. Yes, times had changed. And her daughter wasnt like shed been at seventeen. Back then, Helen had already been working at a factory, helping her mum raise three younger brothers. Going to a friends just for fun? Unthinkable. And if she ever did, shed have to ask permission, report where shed been, who shed spoken to.
Emily, I dont mind you going to Lucys. But lets agree on one thingcall me in a couple of hours, just to check in. All right?
Mum, seriously? Emily groaned. Am I five years old?
No, of course not. But itll put my mind at ease. Please.
Emily thought for a moment, then nodded.
Fine. Ill call. But not every half-hour, agreed?
Agreed, Helen said, relieved.
Her daughter left, and Helen returned to her book, but she couldnt focus. Her thoughts kept circling back to Emilygrowing up, pulling away. It was natural, inevitable, but letting go was harder than shed ever imagined.
A year ago, Emily would have confided in her, shared secrets, asked for advice. Now she was distant, answering questions with single words, bristling at every inquiry. Helen didnt know if she was doing the right thing by trying to guide her, to steer her clear of mistakes.
Her own mother had been strictno leniency, always knowing where her daughter was and what she was doing. And Helen was grateful for that. Maybe that was why she was so afraid to let Emily goafraid that without her watchful eye, her daughter would make reckless choices.
The phone rang an hour later.
Mum, its me. Everythings finewere doing the history assignment. Lucy says hi.
Thanks for calling. What time will you be back for dinner?
Around nine, I think. Theres still loads of work.
All right. Ill warm up the soup for you. Take care.
Mum, relax! Im not trekking through the AmazonLucy lives two streets away. Bye.
Helen hung up and shook her head. Righttwo streets over. Yet her worry made it feel like Emily had crossed continents.
Maybe she was smothering her? When she was young, shed had a friend, Claire, whose mother monitored her every move. Claire had complained about suffocating under that kind of carethen, at eighteen, shed run off with the first guy whod give her an escape. A bad marriage, a messy divorce, years of misery. Helen didnt want that for Emily.
But letting go was terrifying. The world wasnt what it used to be. Every other news story was about some young girl vanishing or falling in with the wrong crowd. And Emily was still so trusting, so naive. Clever, yesbut with little real-life experience.
By eight, Helen was restless. Too early to call, but unease crept in. What if something had happened? What if the girls had gone somewhere else, and Emily was too embarrassed to say?
At half past, she finally dialled. Long ringsthen an unfamiliar male voice answered.
Hello?
Sorry, could I speak to Emily, please? This is her mother.
Who? Theres no Emily here.
Helens blood ran cold.
What do you mean? Is Lucy there?
Lucy? No. You sure youve got the right number?
Yessorry. Helen hung up, hands trembling.
What was going on? Where was her daughter? Had she misdialled? No, she knew Lucys number by heart. Maybe Lucys dad had come home early and didnt realise his daughter had a friend over.
Or had the girls gone out? But Emily had promised to call if plans changed!
Helen paced the flat, glancing out the window every few minutes, hoping to spot Emily returning.
At nine, Emily called.
Mum, Im on my way. Be back in ten.
Emily! Where were you? I rang Lucyssome man answered and said no one was home!
Oh, thats just Uncle Mark. Lucy and I went to the librarywe needed books for our history project. I told you we were studying.
But why didnt you tell me youd left the house?
Mum, we just went to the local library! Whats the big deal?
Emily, we agreed! You promised to call if plans changed!
They didnt changewe were still working! Just not at Lucys! Mum, I cant call you over every little thing!
Helen wanted to arguethat this wasnt little, that shed been worriedbut she held back. She didnt want a fight.
When Emily got home, Helen served reheated soup and fresh scones. Her daughter ate in silence, answering questions with monosyllables.
Hows Lucy? Are her parents back?
Her dads home. Mums back tomorrow.
Whats the project about?
World War II. The Blitz.
Oh, thats interesting! My grandadyour great-grandadwas a boy during the Blitz. He used to tell stories
Mum, Im exhausted. Can I just go to bed? Emily cut in.
Of course, love. Sleep well.
Emily vanished into her room, leaving Helen to clear the table. A heavy weight settled in her chest. Something was off with her daughterbut she couldnt pinpoint what.
A few days later, Helen bumped into Lucys mum, Sarah, at the shops. Theyd known each other for yearstheir girls had been friends since primary school.
Sarah! How was your trip?
Lovely! Though Mark came down with somethinghad to cut it short. Hows Emily? Lucy says shes been quiet lately.
Quiet? If anything, shes more independent now. Used to tell me everythingnow she makes her own decisions.
Well, thats normal, Sarah smiled. They grow up. Lucys started saying the wildest things. Yesterday she announced she wants to skip uni and do a hairdressing course instead. Can you believe it?
Really? Maybe thats not such a bad idea. Good hairdressers earn more than some engineers these days.
Sarah gasped. Helen! A hairdresser? With her maths grades? She should be studying computer sciencesomething serious! I told her straightits nonsense, shes too young to know what she wants
