Ive watched Mabel wait for years on that old wooden bench by the village green, her head resting on the shoulder of the man shed chosen as her lifepartner. She wanted everyone in Littleford to see their happiness, not hide it away.
Mabel had loved Mike his whole life, though in her teenage days she hadnt recognized it for love. She spent forty years waiting for her chance, when she could have clung to it from the start instead of drifting toward other boys.
Their first encounter was on the first day of school in September, when they were placed together in the same class. Mike was quiet but stubborn, and he promptly sat at the same desk as the girl he liked. After lessons he would carry her bag without a word, let her copy his maths, and slip sweets between the textbooks. The other kids started calling them the doughboys as a tease. It annoyed Mabel, making Mike seem dull and uninteresting to her.
In the senior years Mabel flirted with other lads, but Mikes gloomy stare sent every suitor packing. Only before the leavingcert exams did a brave boy step forward, taking a giggly girl in his arms without caring about the fiancé.
Colin was the dream of every senior girl: he played guitar, wore the latest jeans, and never missed a beat. He was always surrounded by a noisy gang of friends, their laughter booming through the playground, and every girl imagined herself in Mabels shoes. Mabel melted under that attention, though it felt strange and unfamiliar.
At the graduation ceremony Mabel received two love confessions, one from each boy. Mike arrived ten minutes late, his quiet words of love getting lost in the buzz of celebration. Mabel didnt take his plea seriously at the moment; she was dizzy from the most coveted proposal any girl could hope for.
All Mabel could manage to say to Mike was:
Mike, Im sorry, but Colin and I have decided to marry and move to the city. Well go to university together. Youre a good lad, and youll find someone
Before she could finish, Mike lunged forward, grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. It hit her like a jolt of electricity could this be the shy, modest Mike shed known? The kiss wasnt passionate, just a brief touch of lips to the corners of her mouth, yet it knocked the wind out of her and turned everything inside her upside down.
Sorry! Mike breathed, then fled into the darkness of the schoolyard. That evening Mabel never saw him again. A week later, when she asked Aunt Vera, Mikes mother, where he had gone, she learned that her fiancé had left the morning after graduation to stay with his cousin in Leicester, enrolling at the Royal Air Force College.
Mike always dreamed of being a pilot, Aunt Vera said proudly.
I never knew! Mabel realized. She understood shed known almost nothing about Mike his hopes, his values. Shed taken him for granted all those years, and now he was gone, as if a cold wind had slipped through the cracks where he once stood.
In her third year at the teachertraining college, Mabel married Colin, though she never felt a great surge of love for him. She had promised, so she kept her word. After twenty years, there was no point waiting any longer for a man who was no longer there.
Mabel and Colin both studied education; she took English, he took physics and maths. After graduating they were offered teaching posts at the local school.
Back at the village school, memories of Mike haunted Mabel. Her chest tightened every time she passed the old desk theyd shared for years. In the gym she once twisted her ankle, and Mike had carried her to the infirmary on his back. In the staff room he would always slip the best piece of cake onto a colleagues plate while he took the dreaded chicken skin for himself.
Mabel felt guilty thinking of another man while married, but she could not help it. She kept it from Colin to preserve their peace; they lived quietly, raised two children, built a house, and taught.
When the children grew up and moved away, Colin suddenly announced he wanted a divorce. To friends it seemed sudden, but Mabel had sensed their marriage was already cracking; the kids had been the only thing holding it together. It turned out Colin had been seeing another woman for years, but that didnt shock Mabel. Deep down she knew shed never loved him, that her coldness toward him was her own fault, and she wondered how long theyd managed to stay together.
After the divorce, a weight lifted from Mabels shoulders. She no longer felt guilty for not loving her husband. May he find the happiness I could not give him, she thought, and I have missed my own. Aunt Vera later told her that after the RAF college, Mike served in the army, then became a pilot for British Airways. Ten years after that memorable graduation, Mike finally married.
Can you imagine, Mabel? Our village girl ends up a stewardess! I was terrified to go to the wedding, worried how the locals would look at us city folk. But they turned out to be simple, even if a bit posh. My sisterinlaw visits me in the summer; we go mushroompicking together. She loves the woods, thats for sure, Aunt Vera gushed.
Mabel listened, feeling a flicker of joy for Mike.
Mikes return to the village was a huge surprise. He arrived with his wife, declaring he had no plans to move back to the city. He built a grand house next to his parents, turned to farming, raising pedigree goats and selling milk at the market. The village gossips whispered:
Whats wrong with the city? A pilot could retire on a pension there. Now hes mucking about with goats!
Word is his wife is seriously ill, not much time left. Theyre trying to help her with fresh country air and food.
Its a shame. First Mabel tormented him for ten years at school, now his wifes dying. Oh, the irony.
These murmurs reached Mabel now and then, and she felt uncomfortable hearing people chew over Mike and his wife while also tossing unkind words at her. She knew shed been foolish to let such a good man slip away, but life doesnt turn back, and past mistakes cant be undone.
One evening, returning from work, Mabel saw Claire, Mikes wife, standing by her front gate. Claire spoke without preamble.
Mabel, please forgive my bluntness, but you should know Im gravely ill. I have cancer, already at a stage where treatment is pointless. I have maybe six months left. Im asking you, after Im gone, to look after Mike. Hes a strong man, but hell need someone. He loves you, I can feel it.
Mabel opened her mouth to protest, but Claire held her back.
He loves you so fiercely that his love overflows every day. Ive had fifteen wonderful years with him, and I regret nothing. Men like him are rare. Please dont push him away now.
They sat on the porch, each quietly weeping for their own reasons.
Claire passed away five months later. Mabel feared the gossip that would follow,
